Friday, November 27, 2009

8 Weeks Post Op

Had my 8 week post-op appointment with the Doc. She was very happy with how I am progressing. I am too, for that matter. I don't swell up nearly as much. I have more sensation in my tummy - there remains an oval of about 6 inches by 3 1/2 inches where I had little to no sensation beneath my belly button and stretching to my incision line. The funny thing is that below the incision line I have all my sensation back. (The clown in me wants to add "If you know what I mean" to that.)

Speaking of clown... at the 7 week mark I participated in a clown workshop in Ottawa. An entire weekend of physical comedy. It was 18 hours long spread over 3 days and it was pretty intensive. I couldn't do some of the more physical exercises -jumping into a high tuck and then landing lightly on my feet, falling down and then getting back up fluidly... after I fall down I still need to roll to one side and then push myself up with one arm. By each of the days' end I was happy and exhausted and my tummy was protesting a tad.

After the clown workshop we drove down to Washington DC where we walked and walked and walked... and then walked some more. And may I say? Washington in stunning! I was truly taken aback at how beautiful it was there. The National Mall and the monuments and the elms leading to the Lincoln Memorial and the Smithsonian museums... even the IRS building was beautiful. Sorry to say, but our federal buildings in Canada (apart from Parliament Hill and a few others) are not pretty. It's like all our federal buildings were updated in the 70s and haven't been touched since. I've gotta say that the US capitol made me gasp several times because it's so amazingly picturesque. I had been a little worried that all the walking in DC might prove difficult for me, but I felt great. Physically tired at the end of each day, but great. Not once did we have to request a wheelchair for my healing body - which had been my concern before going.

I'll take some more pics of how the tummy looks and post them with this, but it's looking good. Last week I found some un-dissolved stitched that I pulled and there were also some ingrown hairs along my incision adding to the "eeew" factor. At the far edges of the incision I have a bit of "dog-eared" flesh (stuff that sticks up a bit) that may or may not settle down after a year's time. If it doesn't flatten out by then, the Doc assured me that she would do something about it, but until then we wait. She was apologetic at the redness of my scar, but assured me that after a year it would be much better. I guess that some gals are surprised that being cut nearly in half results in an angry-looking scar, but I'm just happy to have a flatter tummy without the cottage cheese consistency. She also noticed that maybe an inch and a half of the scar is now a titch raised. I hadn't even noticed because I'm still a little icked out about touching the scar. She told me to massage the area and I could use a "scar" cream or regular lotion, but the massaging part was important to get sensation back and help flatten the scar - which I hadn't even noticed wasn't really flat.

I have basically the same body shape as I did before, only without the bulging tummy in front. I've gone down 2 or 3 pant sizes depending on the brand and that in itself is pretty phenomenal. Not having to suck in is a really nice feeling. I am aiming to still lose another 10 pounds or so that would put me in the healthy BMI (body mass index) range - which I haven't been in for - well lets say EVER because it's true. Funny thing is though, most people would never say that I'm overweight. Even with the extra tummyness. At 5'6", I've always been voluptuous and I've never been the 130 - 135 lbs that I'm supposed to be. NEVER. At 150 I look good and that's what I'm aiming for. Any less than that and I think I might look a wee bit cadaverous.

Another highlights this week... I've walked 10 K twice! (The other days I didn't have an hour and a half to spare so I just stuck to the 5-7 K) Of course both those 10 K nights I crashed with the kid at 8:00 p.m. But to know that I can... that's a really good feeling. And seeing as the sun is shining at present, I'd best go for my walk - I'm aiming for 7 K this morning.

Cheers!
Heather

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nearly 7 weeks Post-Op

I'm feeling pretty great. I feel like I can tackle the world with enthusiasm and verve. I do my morning walk (I'm up to about 7 K now); I do about 30 minutes on the Wii Fit (mostly balance games and gentle yoga) and then, about 5:00 p.m., I'm ready to sleep like the dead. I hit the wall and it's all I can do to stay vertical. This exhaustion may still be some of the residual effects from the general anaesthetic. And with my freaky metabolism, I shouldn't be surprised, but really? I'm falling asleep sometimes before 8:00 p.m. My 9 year-old daughter stays up later than me.

I have had weird-ass things going on for me since I was 11 and started having migraines. At about 13 I started having dizzy spells. I have always been clumsy and accident prone and most recently I gave up using Splenda in my one cup of coffee in the morning because I was having fibromyalgia/MS-like symptoms. My entire body was aching from head to toe - I was almost certain that I must be having a prolonged flu (5 weeks of it), but the naturopath suggested that I cut out artificial sweeteners and within about 3 days I was fine again. I mentioned before my sensitivity to caffeine. So for me to still be reacting to the anaesthetic - isn't completely crazy. Oh, I am completely crazy, most definitely, but my reaction may just be normal for me. My GP rolls his eyes in front of me and basically treats me like a well-spoken hypochondriac. My husband, on the other hand, knows not to let me out of the house between about 3:00 p.m. and dinner time because my blood sugar is low, and I might end up standing in Zellers, stunned, staring at the colourful wrapping paper in the stationery section.

Yesterday I tried some girlie pushups with a side plank. It wasn't a total failure, but I could certainly feel my stomach during it. I made sure that I relied almost completely upon my arms and had an inner monologue that went something like, "Is that a twinge? No, it's okay. Just breathe. Focus on your arms. Meh. Ew. That might have been a twinge." Any exercise that I do on one foot automatically engages my core muscles so attempting 10 leg lift thingies can get me a little tired. I can now sort of feel the muscle tension in my core when I try to tighten. I used to have INCREDIBLE muscle (underneath the nice squooshy layer of fat) I could have pulled a Houdini with my core confidence. (I hope I would have been ready for the punch and not have died from it.) So now to have it barely there makes me desperately want to spend time doing some major planks to get it nice and tight, but it still hasn't been 2 months yet and frankly, by bedtime, NOT doing planks, my tummy is still swollen and skin a little loose. It's like the more swollen I get, the looser my skin above the incision gets. This also happens to coincide with my residual stretch marks, so I get a miniature version of the floppy elephant's ear thing. I'm not really complaining because the size of the elephant's ear (when it happens - it's not all the time) is now around 5 or 6 inches squared as opposed to the 60 inches squared that it used to be. So that's pretty good progress. Today though, I'm going to try to take it easy. Yesterday I was in and out of the car a lot, and I didn't sit and relax that much. I'll try to ice my stomach and take it easy and see how that helps my tummy.

Oh, and the binder? It's so much more comfortable than the control-top panties. I've been alternating. I wear the binder for my morning walk generally, and then switch into the control-tops, but by day's end, I'm sore, especially around the legs and hips. Who'd have ever thought that my medical grade velcro binder would become my crutch?

Cheers!
Heather

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Jean Shopping at 5 Weeks Post-Op

I now find myself doing the exact same thing that pretty much everyone who has ever had a good tummy tuck does. I find myself saying "Yeah, those first two weeks were brutal, but now I'm so happy with my decision." See that? It IS just like childbirth. Those first couple of weeks I know, I mean, I KNOW, they were bad, but now... I'm that gal who is all butterflies and sunshine and lollipops and soft snuggly kittens. I'm that gal who cannot believe that this is her stomach in the mirror.

Now that most of the swelling has gone down, I'm recognizing that this new body of mine is substantially different than before. Yes, I still have the Ken doll-esque pubic bone and a titch of swelling above the incision, but I can now bend over and I don't have rolls of skin and fat that are nigh on impossible to mask.

I went shopping this week for jeans. Bear with me now, because this is the part where you'll hate me. I used to be a solid 12 or 14 in everything. Ever since I can remember. My Grad dress from high school was an 11. I have never been a truly petite girl. Never obese, but not a sylph-like model either. This week I bought a pair of jeans that were a size 8. I'm pretty sure the last time I was a size 8 was when I was 8. I went to a fairly chi-chi store and started trying things on - with the proviso that I didn't want anything terribly low-rise. Again, just because I can does NOT mean that I should.

They put me in a size 10 jeans. A $279 pair of size 10 jeans. I had entered the store and basically said, "Look, you may as well point me to the most expensive clothes you have in the store right now so that I can get them off my radar." And I tried on these $279 JEANS. They're JEANS! Are they sewn together with gold? Will I be able to leave them to my daughter in my will? NO - they are JEANS! But man did my ass look good in them. Was it $279 worth of good? I ain't so sure.

I then tried on a less expensive pair of chi-chi jeans (again $95 for JEANS!?!), and the gal said that the size 10 was too big. I looked at her in mystified confusion. Too big? But they were a size 10. I don't ever wear size 10s. I shook my head at her. "Oh no, that can't be right. I won't fit into an 8." Well she put her hand down the back of my waistband to show me that these pants were too big and then prodded my groin area to indicate that they also bunched in the front. Next thing I know, I'm walking out of the store having just purchased size 8 jeans. Me - voluptuous girl - the one with the boobs - wandering the streets shaking my head, unwilling to believe it. And terrified deep down that this is all just some crazy dream and I'll wake up with the elephant ear tummy once more.

So now I had these new chi-chi jeans for dress-up, but I still didn't have casual pants other than my yoga pants. So yesterday we made a trip to Peterborough to Value Village. For those of you who aren't Ontarians - Value Village is a 2nd hand clothing store. What you find there usually isn't vintage - unless you consider the 80s vintage - but it's great for finding good-quality used clothes. I got 2 pairs of casual jeans, a pair of capri jeans and casual pants - Rissa got jazz shoes and a dance dress all for under $65! Plus I found a vintage 1960s plaid wool jacket for $12.99! It's all creams and greens and yellows and oranges and it fit me!!

What you have to understand is that I was born in the wrong decade. I really should have been born in the late 1930s. I have the figure of someone who should be wearing clothes from the 50s and early 60s. I've got boobs and I've got hips and I've pretty much always had them. So when I'm clothes shopping if I find anything that is truly vintage I begin to salivate and desperately pray that I might be able to fit into it. I rarely fit into those clothes. Girls back in those decades were teeny. Those measurements of 36-24-36 were accurate probably until the 80s. Before the surgery my waist was 34 inches - I was more than accustomed to trying on Large & X-Large clothes. Occasionally in a good vintage shop I might find something, but more often than not, I just know that those really sweet dresses aren't going to fit me. I feel like this warrants a trip to Kensington Market in Toronto to see if I might now be able to get into those dresses.

I have dreams of vintage clothing shops. Seriously. I dream of a specific shop that has candy-coloured dresses as far as the eye can see. I pretty much dance on air when I find a good vintage dress. It truly is ridiculous how happy a confection of tulle and polyester can make me.

My energy level is much better. I've been walking every day now since the 4 week mark. I am up to about an hour and 20 minutes. It feels so good to move! However, I still have to remember that I will continue to get sore and uncomfortable. At Sweeney Todd on Wed I jumped around a bit and my tummy was not happy with me. I had to remember: No jumping! No jumping! Now that I am feeling better though, the bouncier part of my being wants to come back out. My stomach muscles cannot flex yet. I can sort of tighten them, but there's nothing strong underneath there yet. That will have to wait for the planks that I'll try to do after week 6. I've been trying some of the gentler Yoga movements on the Wii Fit, although so far all that I can really manage is the Warrior pose and the Sun Salutation. I've attempted other movements, but anything that has me balancing on one foot needs too much of my core to stabilize and my body starts to make me feel all wiggly and nervous inside. I'm sticking to the balance games. I've flown as a bird across the ocean - done Kung Fu - run the new obstacle course and had some snowball fights. After next Thursday I should be good to go for some strength training, but until then I'll be happy with my balance games and walking.

And now it's beautifully sunny and the autumn leaves are beckoning for my morning walk.

Cheers!
Heather